5 Tips for Establishing Clear Boundaries
Setting, enforcing, and respecting healthy boundaries has always been an excellent idea. It’s an idea that is more honored in the breach but an excellent idea nonetheless. Boundaries are a sign of respect and self-respect. They remind everyone involved where one person ends and another person begins.
These days, you could make a very compelling argument that boundaries have never been more important. After all, people can now impose their will on you in a vast range of different ways. From social media to texts to DMs and beyond, it’s not just old-school face-to-face contact we experience. So, how do we deal with all these dynamics in a healthy way?
Possible Signs of Unhealthy or Non-Existent Boundaries
You endure disrespectful treatment because you’re afraid you’ll lose people otherwise
Constantly sharing TMI (too much information)
Being too closely involved in other people’s lives
Having trouble saying “no”
But What Do Healthy Boundaries Look and Feel Like?
It’s not about being a loner and never helping others or asking for help. Rather, health boundaries create space for realities like this to become the norm:
Setting a baseline that you’ll face each situation as it arises with the goal of not composing your values and integrity
Using your own opinion as a compass but staying open to new information
Being comfortable saying “no” and hearing “no”
Since this is often easier said than done, let’s review some suggestions.
5 Tips for Establishing Clear Boundaries
Identify Your Needs: Name your values, your wants, and your needs. Carefully decide what is important to you so you can commit to operating from that perspective.
Hone Your Communication Skills: When you pledge to honest, direct, and steady communication, it can reduce misunderstandings. It’ll also make it easier to discern when someone is trying to manipulate you.
Stay Consistent: The best way to do this is not to set boundaries based on emotions. Take time to do such work when you’re feeling calm and cogent.
Cooperation: Boundaries obviously involve other people. Do your part to maintain mutual respect.
Boundaries as Self-Care: View the entire process as a way to enhance your mental and physical well-being.
What About Setting Boundaries in a Relationship?
One of the secret formulas for relationship success is the setting of boundaries. You can be soul mates who finish each other’s sentences, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have differences and conflicts. Boundaries set you up to accept this reality with more balance and less blaming. It’s how a couple develops and sustains trust. In addition, knowing your boundaries enables you both to identify potential dealbreakers.
Setting Boundaries in a Relationship
Much of this work dovetails with the five tips listed above, but let’s re-emphasize such vital information:
Couple’s Communication: Talk face-to-face. Do so often and openly and become better listeners. Your conversations are golden opportunities to learn more about the person you love.
Respect: From this foundation, you may find it less stressful to bring up a touchy topic.
Don’t Compete: This is a relationship, not a contest. Set the intention of defining a “win” as something that benefits both of you.
Patience: If you need time or space, ask for it — and take it. Be mindful and patient when it comes to tending to your relationship.
What If Boundary Setting Feels Impossible?
Join the club. This challenging work does not end. Boundary setting does not have a finish line, and you may recognize that professional help is another excellent idea. Whether it’s via individual or couples counseling, women’s counseling is a method by which you can more clearly recognize your patterns and your needs. Let’s set up a free and confidential consultation soon.
