What Is Reparenting — And How Can It Reduce Anxiety?
So many people are sharing carefully curated versions of themselves online. From social media to job sites to dating apps, their highlight reels can provoke anxiety. We wonder why we feel so anxious and lost. In reality, most folks feel this way. After all, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the world.
An under-explored cause for all of this is that few of us got the childhood we needed. Parents and caretakers typically aim to do their best, but if your needs weren’t met, you can feel like you’re wandering when you reach adulthood. You can’t change the past, of course, but you certainly can heal from childhood wounds. A giant step in this direction is called reparenting.
What Is Reparenting?
There are countless reasons why childhood needs go unmet. Reparenting is an approach designed to address all of them. At the time when you needed and deserved the consistent, reliable support, you were left to fend for yourself. If only you had the cognitive and physical skills to do so properly. Well, welcome to reparenting.
It’s never too late to supply yourself with the attention, nurturing, and love that evaded you during your earliest days. That loss has likely caused you to struggle in several aspects of your life, but you can recover and thrive by playing the role that was initially missing.
Reparenting and Anxiety
As touched on above, anxiety is very common and very commonly the result of childhood dysfunction. If you don’t develop healthy coping skills, it can be incredibly challenging to remain resilient in the face of this frenetic modern age.
Any adult who didn’t learn productive skills during childhood may live today with problems like depression, low self-esteem, social conflict, perfectionism, and, of course, anxiety. Reparenting is a proven path toward soothing current issues, identifying past problems, and discovering new ways to move into the future.
How Reparenting Can Reduce Anxiety
Talk to Your Inner Child
Sure, the term “inner child” may sound woo-woo to some, but there’s a clinical logic to it. When you were young, you had specific needs. The adults in your life probably didn’t meet all these needs, so you grew up with a sense of wariness, distrust, and resignation.
However, you’re an adult now, and via reparenting, you can connect with your inner child and give them precisely what they want and need. Talk to them. Write letters to them. Pray with them. Whatever you choose, put them first and watch what happens.
Stop Blaming Yourself
When a child is neglected — intentionally or not — it is never their fault. To make sense of your confusion, you may have blamed yourself, but it’s time to release that viewpoint. You can forgive those who failed you without condoning their actions or ever interacting with them again. But most importantly, let go of the self-blame.
Practice Self-Care
Your daily self-care regimen as an adult is, in a way, reparenting. You’re prioritizing yourself, listening to your needs, and reducing anxiety. When you give yourself now what you didn’t get in the past, the anxious thought patterns lose power.
Set and Enforce Boundaries
Part of the anxiety you feel today could be rooted in a lack of boundaries during your youth. Once again, it’s never too late to change how you live in the world. Setting, enforcing, and respecting boundaries is the path toward respect and self-respect.
Is It Time to Learn More About Reparenting?
Your parents probably could’ve benefited from anxiety counseling back in the day. Now, on your reparenting journey, you can flip that script, too. I invite you to reach out to talk more about the amazing possibilities.
